Vuelvo al Sur

for the family, if anyone still checks.

2006-07-07T17:05:29Z

BERLIN is amazing, yes.
Paris? Meh.
In fact, it annoys me to hear all the cliches about Paris because its the most capitalist city I have ever been to. I imagine that the people who fall in love with Paris are those who have a lot of money and who love spending it. Yes, small shops of Buddhist and Japanese commodities (whats with the superficial fascination?) lined the romantic streets, but what would Paris be without the shopping? My sister and I were followed, glared at, and ignored in shops because we looked like we might steal, because we wouldnt buy more expensive items (sorry that an expresso shot is not enough at a cafe,) or simply because we didnt look rich enough to be cared about. If theres anything I like about Paris, its the diversity. My favorite night was dancing to drums out on the street when the French football team won to Portugal, which truly made me realize that I CAN embrace football and the world cup. I wouldnt buy a ticket or pay for memorabilia, but I would definitely celebrate when an entire country can come together and celebrate. Even the Portuguese in Paris were celebrating because they ARE French after all.

It's Friday anyways

2005-09-23T15:22:53Z

Apparently for medical reasons, one of my neighbors is transfering from Earlham College.
This girl isn't too much of a socialite and I could tell that she doesn't feel like she fits in at Earlham, but I have always been nice to her and all of my neighbors.
SO today her dad showed up to help her move out and last night her friends threw her a little party. However, we are in Earlham, and I think that other people should be in on the fact that she is moving out and I know that everyone would be really supportive and help her out.
I continue bugging everyone so that someone will tell me what's going on (even though I already know) because I think that it's ridiculous that I talk to (and am friends with a couple) every single one of these people and none of them want to fill me in.
So I just walked in to the girl's room (because I heard a lot of chatting and laughing) and asked them what was up and they all got quiet. Luckily, I am not dumb enough to allow that to make me feel awkward or left out, so I proceeded to make conversation with the girl that is leaving. Apparently she lives in Eugene, OR, and somehow I never knew this.
I shouldn't be bothered by this, but it seems to me that everyone is really cool and accepting at Earlham, and I really want these people to see that and not just seclude themselves.

Also, I am going to be a Reading Coach at an Elementary School as part of my work study. It sounds really exciting, but during the training we were told that students who are diagnosed with ADD are not allowed to be in the program, which only encourages the fact that ADD does not exist!!!!
If you're diagnosed with ADD shouldn't you be given more one on one education than other kids????
Instead, kids who are diagnosed with ADD are given pill after pill in hopes of getting rid of their short attention span.

How ridiculous.

Cuentale que te conoci bailando

2005-09-14T05:31:33Z

OK definitely been going through a lot of emotions lately...
Yesterday I was absolutely ecstatic because I was quite involved and everything seemed to be going smoothly. Then tonight, each reunion coincided and ahhh!!!!!!!!!
So it seems that I won't choreograph for Dance Alloy because we couldn't find where the meeting would be held, and no auditioning for a play for me. I should be relieved, and I will be. As involved as I wanted to be, this means that I will be able to focus on other things. Plus the fact that I will still be dancing, so I will probably be as involved anyways.
AND that I may not only be on student government, but I may be a convener of another branch, which sounds exciting.
It has taken me a while to calm down, but I'm good now.
As far as my hand, after driving it out of the doctor (!!!), he finally told me that I am simply sensitive and that it's not a bee sting allergy because that would cause me to swell up where I wasn't stung as well...
Although, I did start to get something on my face... damn it!!!
And as far as spider bites, that would result in a black mark on the bite.
Hmm...
Lots of work to do and so sleepy.

I loved talking with my mom and Irene last night.
AAAND I really want my dad to visit me for Family Weekend.

In the morning hours...

2005-09-12T14:02:55Z

At the moment, I am sitting here snacking because I am about to go to Health Services and figure out what happened to my hand!! I was waiting for my sister's call yesterday morning, but she never called.
So Saturday night, I was sitting on the bench outside of Runyan talking to people and I realized I was scratching my hand... I figured a bug bit me, or that it was a bee sting because there were a lot of bees around, but my hand swelled up in a matter of minutes. Yesterday morning I woke up with my hand about three times its size!! The worst part is that for some strange reason, health services isn't open on Sundays... Well, since OBVIOUSLY people don't get sick on sundays. SO I've had to wait all day. Last night I discovered that I had a bite on my face, but the swelling so far has been prevented.
I am actually quite shocked that I played whiffle ball yesterday, how I imagined to do that I may never understand.
I also want to mention that my mom's gift package was the most awesome gift I could have received. I love that everything is organic and tastes so good!!!

ALSO, Happy 22nd Birthday Irene!!!!

Oh long time no see!

2005-09-01T03:47:44Z

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyy
OK so I decided that it's update time. Hmm where do I start. How about some advertisement, Earlham College in Richmond, Indiana is a great college. It really is. The people here are so awesome and everyone is so united and open, and diversity like none other. Well, that's a huge reason as to why I picked the college, but it's just nice to have all that reinforced when I had just spent quite a while before I came thinking that I had made the worst decision in my life. From what I hear every time I talk to people, considering the fact that I didn't visit any of the colleges that I applied to, I seriously lucked out on my decision to come to Earlham.
SO I think I'm going to be sick because I have a massive headache and my nose is a little stuffy... Ohhhh cross your fingers for me. Something is going around being that it was hot and humid, and out of nowhere it decided to rain, although out of nowhere a hurricane just appeared, so I suppose it makes sense.
Hmm... my classes are quite challenging, and it definitely hit me that I came to a Liberal Arts college when I signed up for my classes simply because I expected to have a huge reunion with my adviser where we talked to each other about my classes. Uh no. Yeah pretty much last week I spent one stressful night figuring out which classes would work for me, and coming to terms about majors and such.

So this is how it went:
Peace and Global Studies or Sociology and Anthropology as far as majors.

As far as classes:
Latin American Culture and Society (on the colonization of L.A.)
Intro to Macroeconomics
Rise of Caring Power
Gospel Revelations (FUN!)
Hand Drum Ensemble (I love it!!)

and of course... spending each day applying for jobs for work study...
and of course... I'll be in the Dance Alloy show where I will choreograph and dance. yay!

Life is definitely good. I'm happy here.

So now, on to homework.

It's the end of the world as we know it.

2005-08-16T05:11:54Z

No, it isn't.
But this article definitely made me feel that way for a few seconds.

http://www.newyorker.com/fact/content/articles/050627fa_fact

The most ridiculous excerpts:

*“Maybe one day he’ll be the one standing before the Supreme Court, arguing to overturn Roe v. Wade.”

*"Still, when students enroll at Patrick Henry, they sign a ten-part statement of faith, agreeing that, among other things, Hell is a place where 'all who die outside of Christ shall be confined in conscious torment for eternity.'"

*"...and for a junior like Ben Adams, who sent out a nine-page e-mail to the entire student body before the spring formal reminding the girls to dress modestly. 'Lust is sin,' it said. 'It is sin for you to tempt us. It is . . . unloving. Unsisterly. Un-Christlike.' "

*"Matthew du Mée, who was an R.A., told me that if he saw a boy and girl sitting too close for too long he would pull the boy aside and tell him to stop, because 'the guy is supposed to be the leader in the relationship.'"

colcafe @ 2005-08-11T20:15:00

2005-08-12T03:59:07Z

I can't seem to keep my room clean.
Even if I am doing something crazy like PACKING FOR COLLEGE! It's just not possible, and now, it's a mess.
Ironically, I feel more organized than ever. I mean, I AM packing even though I'm not leaving tomorrow, or tonight.
But I WILL leave in a week. In seven days I will be living in a college, a state, and a part of the country that I never visited (if you don't count the airport in Newark.)
I am a little nervous, but there should be some good times in there...

AAAND I must add that the WoodstAck concert last night was awesome, but everything is slowly ending.

colcafe @ 2005-08-09T12:27:00

2005-08-09T19:43:26Z

I donated blood yesterday, except that for the second time, my blood could not be used. I can't think of anything worse because both have been painful and all I can think is that I'm saving a life. But really I am not because my blood has not been used.
SO I woke up this morning and it looks like I am a heroin addict.
Last time I got a bruise, but I didn't think it would look so bad this time. So it hurts every time I twist my arm and bend it too much. However, this experience is not enough for me to not go again... In fact, I encourage everyone to go.
I look at it as a lesson:
My entire family went to donate blood. My sister and my mom were rejected for having iron deficiency, and because the needle was not inserted correctly, my body made the blood drawing process slow and painful, and thus made the blood useless. Only Mike's blood was used, considering the fact that he initially refused to go, but my sister and I begged him until he gave in.

As far as facts go:
- Only 30% of first time donors return to donate blood for a second time
- The blood supply is always two days away from running out
- Every 2 seconds someone in the U.S. needs blood
- There is a 97% chance that someone you know will need a blood transfusion
- Donated blood only lasts for 42 days
- One blood donation can save up to 3 lives

Times are a' changin

2005-08-02T02:32:33Z

Right now I can be found in my dad's living room on the computer next to Irene on her laptop. My dad just came home and is rummaging through the fridge fixing himself a drink. The lights are dim because my dad insists on always having a clear light even though the sunlight is bright enough to maintain me.
I just felt something strange on my lip and it seems that I have a blister. ARG I hate those although it seems to be inherited because some of my cousins would constantly get them. Damn.
But now it makes sense, it does!! I have been sick with mad headaches and simple "malestar," and no one understood what was wrong with me... It all makes sense now.
This week has been stressful for me because I'm constantly making realizations about my life and people around me. My family had planned to go to Canada as part of a weekend trip that would allow us to get in touch with everyone in the Washington and Canada region that we hadn't seen in a while. Things didn't go as planned and I'm glad. Instead, we are spending more time with my dad than we had scheduled. Even thinking about the plans didn't make sense ("we're spending four days with my uncle and only a morning with my dad??"), but luckily things have changed.
Life has been all right except for the fact that Irene and I have opposite personalities and I have been struggling with the idea that our personalities are not meant to get along. I love my sister so much... I hate to think about this, but our personalities only cause us to make differing decisions, thus only reinforcing these personalities. How much more different is Japan and Colombia??
Now we are polar opposites and these initial days have been hard. Irene said that we have a lifetime to get along, but it feels like we won't. We're going to opposite sides of the country for college, and when will we truly spend time together?
On a lighter note, Sony gave me my yearbook the other day and I discovered an advertisement for me by my dad. So cute.

On the stereo, listen as we go.

2005-07-22T06:40:40Z

Looking through music I left on the computer before I left

and I wonder...

Whyyyyy did I leave such depressing music???

There's no excuses my friend, let's push things forward.

2005-07-22T06:04:28Z

Definitely doing a lot better. I felt the need to update when I saw the last entry I wrote. It really only took two days to get back into the hang of things, but now I'm definitely good. These days have been all about taking it easy... I just go to dance class in the afternoon, clean up, help prepare something for lunch, take a siesta... and so on.
When I came home I began a long process of telling my mom all about my stay, which has of course resulted in some major bonding. I am so happy about that... my relationship with my mom has never been too open, and before my trip to Colombia, we definitely clashed. It also has to do with my lack of communication and opennes, but I have been working on that and my mom has noticed. Ahhh so nice.

colcafe @ 2005-07-16T00:08:00

2005-07-16T07:30:27Z

I says:
it feels like you could just be having lots of icky moments
coupled with mad culture shock
which can definitely change the lens you view things through

I says:
fuck... no love your just exhausted
the hotel thing just kinda put you on a downer route
and now your letting it infuse everything

My sister's analysis on the situation....

Getting used to change.

... y que todos los viernes sean de fiesta.

2005-07-14T08:20:52Z

It's 3:11 in the morning and I cannot sleep.
I got up from bed about 3 hours ago, after 2 hours of lying in bed wide awake. I'm going to be going home tomorrow, so my mind is going crazy pondering about the rest of my summer, my family, my friends, the U.S., college... everything.
So I got up to check my email and began scanning photos. Not sleeping is a lot easier than hardly sleeping and then waking up early.
I'm very happy. My parents' permissions are set, my passports are ready (the double Nationality), and my bags are packed. I'm going to take a shower in a few minutes and get a head start so I can be at the airport early and my morning will run smoothly.
OH! And I went to the gym yesterday! Definitely a de-stresser. I know, really weird, I always hated exercise, especially cardiovascular exercise... But I started exercising every day since I came as part of my "use my time wisely" and "work hard in dance" plan. It soon became an addiction, but I encourage it out of every one... There's nothing like the feeling of it, and the fact that it keeps the emotions in check.
SO yes, I feel very off... But definitely can't wait.
I also received an email from my college roommate who is absolutely cute and sounds really sweet from the emails we write. Apparently, she recently went out and bought quite a few things for our room, which gets me thinking... hm... Yay! So much to look forward to, and plan, and work on... And people to see!
I love it.

Si la Luna no es hecha de miel, dime tu de que es.

2005-07-11T19:50:29Z

Deja vu?
Once again, only a few days until I leave.
The house is quiet, and the weather is too gray for my taste.
I spent the weekend with my cousin Sandra, which was a nice change... I had plans for Thursday and I ended up staying at home waiting for my cousin Anita to come so we could go out, and she never did. Her boyfriend calls, asks her to see him, and she leaves right away... That makes me angry. I confronted her the other day, which was good for me because I released negative energy... but it really wasn't productive. So anyways, I gladly left the house and spent it with other family... I think I will be doing the same for these upcoming days.
I figure that my mission for today is prepare everything... As soon as I came back I began washing clothes... It's simply a get myself together time before I go to another house and before I finally go home.
I feel bad though, this family has been amazingly awesome with me. SO unbelievably tolerant although I thought that whithin time they would hate me and get tired of me... Now they're all sad that I'm leaving.
I have lived with my aunt, her husband, their two sons, and two daughters... You'd think that ONE of them would be tired of me... But they're always willing to help, if not spoil me.
Damn it, I just feel so alone right now... I'm doing whatever to pass the time. Anything that doesn't make it feel so slow is just perfect.

A New Outlook

2005-07-07T05:58:46Z

So things are changing once again...
Tonight I went with my cousins and my modern dance girls to a Modern Dance performance by an arts academy in Bogotá (La ASAB). I absolutely loved it. The choreographer and teacher has received quite a few awards and recognition internationally (he's originally from Switzerland). The performance was strange... the dancers were definitely skilled, but they were all dancing in front of a screen that kept showing random images (people dressing, people travelling...). At a certain point in the first dance, a rope appeared on stage then a woman was tried to it. The dance closed with a man in a giant wheelchair who simply came out on stage and was part of the act. Strangeness, but it was obvious that, although abstract, every movement looked rigorous and you could tell that it took a lot of work.
The second dance was AMAZING. Must I say it again... I should have videotaped it, the music, the stage, the dancers, the screaming, the talking, the jumping off of walls, the dancing, the acting, the comedy, the undressing, the running, the painting, the silence, the fading in and out of music. Amazing amazing... it makes me want to cry. So abstract, but so real... it was very representative of Latin America and captured everything... It made me wonder about how cool it would be to study dance in Bogotá, would it be worth it? I had a talk with my teacher long ago about the fact that Modern Dance in Colombia is too new and dancers to truly be something have to at some point study in a more advanced country... but the performance tonight reversed everything she said.
I also thought about the idea of male dancers in Colombia... the strange thing is that in the U.S. I've heard a lot of "the guy must be gay to want to be a dancer", whereas here, Modern Dance NEEDS male dancers... As if only the men are capable to do the really great dances. Hmm, I don't know what's worse.
SO tonight was definitely inspiring, and I MUST stretch some muscle in my body... the more I wait, the more stiff I feel, and the lazier I become to stretch.
But, now that I got together with my friends, there are plans in the air... SO I'm back to thinking that July 14th (the next flight date) is too soon.
Pretty much, I'm back into my serene state of mind, where I'm happy with my life and the choices I've made. Oh I love these days.

colcafe @ 2005-07-04T11:25:00

2005-07-04T16:59:59Z

Today, Monday, is a holiday celebrating a Catholic (San Pedro)... Therefore everyone was out of the city this past weekend to enjoy the mini vacations. We went to a little town called Guachetá where my cousins´grandma´s sister lived. I loved it because she lived on a mountain and we were completely sorrounded by nature. Her broom was even made of leaves, and her walls were bricks made out of sand and leaves and such. We all went, but it was too melancholy because my cousin anita has been distanced lately. I ended up playing babysitter and taking one of the little boys out to see the creek, race, and talk to animals. He was too adorable, but his mom doesn't quite trust me being that I'm not an adult, which upset me because being an adult only means that you're most likely going to be really boring and take a million precautions.
So the trip was nice, and Irene, if you're reading this... Imagine this woman living like the short film we saw... Intense, intense I must say.

Hmm, let's see, Saturday was nice too... We went to a Beauty and Health fair which has been a really huge deal. My favorite was the Alternative Medicine department, I loved it. It really got me thinking about how many opportunities Colombians have to completely live off of nature. There are so many kinds of plants here that there is no need to import anything from other countries... Natural medicine is not expensive and completely within reach. The same goes for eating natural foods, but the country is slowly imitating the United States with fast foods and drinks that only require adding water. It doesn't even make sense because the situation isn't the same, such as working moms and the idea that people don't have time so everything must be faster.

Other than that, the other departments were entirely about beauty. We entered the hair department precisely when they were going to have a show about a certain product. Several models went on stage to have the product demonstrated on them... Each haircut only took a few minutes (I immediately thought of Sasha and Sonya and the modeling gig they were offered to die their hair certain colors. hehe.) Then the men offered to cut people's hair from the public and I volunteered! I became so nervous because people were picked and immediately went on stage, but one guy "reserved" me, so I just started trembling in the audience thinking about my entry on to the stage. Then the other hairstylist brought me up on stage, but my nervousness didn't allow me to hear anything the guy said to me, although he was really adorable and gave me a kiss at the end, which only led to constant teasing from the family.
So now, I'm trying to think of what will be done today, but it seems that nothing is open due to the holiday status this country finds itself in.

Slowly passing the time.

2005-07-04T02:29:28Z

So I realize why I am upset.
And I hate to drag this subject out, but maybe this reasoning will put it to rest. Pretty much, I planned it out so that I would go home precisely on the 29th of June. I wanted to make sure that it wouldn't be so hard for me emotionally and for me to not get attached to anyone or anything, so I made sure that all my friends knew that I was leaving... I didn't even ask for phone numbers and anyone who had mine would be warned to not call after the 29th because I figured such an act would make things harder for me. Conclusion: I have no contacts and I'm feeling pretty lonely. Worst of all is that classes are done and any other work that I could get ahead on is waiting for me at home... just as I had planned (including dance classes, which I had hoped I would take as soon as I returned.)
So that is how it goes.
Other than that, I have had fun... I must say that living in Bogotá is definitely a daily adventure, which just shows how much I love living in a big city. I like that people mind their own business, yet it's not that everyone is completely independent and indifferent.
Yeah, a little odd for me to comment on after whining about my extended stay, but I must get over it.

I'm just somewhere else.

2005-07-02T03:55:50Z

I feel so frusterated about this whole trip idea. I had definitely calmed down, but whenever someone gets me talking about it... I simply vent my frusteration. I'm not supposed to be in this country and I had mentally prepared myself to leave, but because of the permission papers that have to be original, I can't leave the country until mid-July.
I am frusterated because it feels as if I have lost all control in this situation. I'm not in class and there are college papers waiting for me at home that I was going to fill out as soon as I returned... to say the least. I was at least hoping that I could take summer dance classes...
We went to the airport to get it all settled and I was ready to argue with the people because they were suddenly making rules that we had not been told about. My aunt even told me that they are making it harder for me to leave, but she laughed and said that it only means that I'm meant to be here. Haha, yeah very true, but not when I'm so dependant on others and others end up making decisions for me. I feel very trapped and completely out of control. I would have definitely argued with Immigrance, but my aunt was standing next to me smiling... and I felt bad. Gosh dang, and this is exactly what makes me angry.

A little distraction

2005-06-30T22:05:30Z

Star Wars Horoscope for Cancer

You may whine at times, but you've developed a thick hard shell (like that of a crab).
You are strong willed and persistent - until you get what you want.
You never shy away from a fight, even when things get dangerous.
Mentally sharp, you are starting to master the elements of mind manipulation.

Star wars character you are most like: Luke Skywalker

What is Your Star Wars Horoscope?

Some things are meant to be.

2005-06-30T01:38:56Z

Boo hoo hoo...

SO my flight didn't work out this morning, which is sad because I was completely ready. Everything was absolutely perfect, and I was feeling really calm and nice in the airport. Sadly enough, I'm underage and Colombian, so immigration didn't let me through. I need a parent authorization although I definitely insisted that they let me through ("I'm 18 in a month!" "My parents PAID for this flight!" "Both my parents live in the U.S., they WANT me to return!").
And now we have to pay a fine for having to change the flight ticket.
Grrr...
Well anyways, the plus side:
*I was able to buy the feather earrings for my sister
*I did not have to wait hours in the Houston airport (hopefully my next itinerary will be better)
*I can prepare my entertainment for the plane
*I get to spend a couple more days of quality time in Colombia
... and I could list more...
So it really wasn't so bad, plus everyone was really nice to me in the airport, especially when I returned to reclaim my bags and everything.
Now my next flight will hopefully be this friday IF my parents are able to get the authorization done in time...
We'll see, we'll see.

The Latest News

2005-06-25T00:02:50Z

Last night was amazing.
The show was a hit... and like always, there were errors, but I loved it.
I felt really nervous before we presented, and while we practiced, the teacher yelled at me and told me to drink some coffee because I wasn't focusing. I was so incredibly worried that I would mess up, that after we rehearsed the dance I almost started crying...
BUUUUUUUUT I had completely forgotten about the crazy amounts of adrenaline that I get when I perform. I had unbelievable energy and more confidence than ever. If I was shaking before the show, I certainly wasn't shaking during it.
Everyone loved it and two of my family members filmed it, so I can't wait to see it!!!
SO I'm now completely done with classes and officially on vacation... the three of us dancers had been talking about celebrating, so afterwards we went out to have some drinks. So much fun. We joked about the performance, but at the same time I loved that we forgot about it and moved on. It wasn't the topic of the night, and although it was a great experience, I'm SO glad it's overwith. The hilarious part is that even the teachers joined us at the bar, and I think we got the most compliments from the teachers. Oh they are so cool... But now I'm seriously curious about what grades I will receive in my classes.
So I've completely calmed down but yesterday I was absolutely ecstatic... of course. These days I have seriously bonded with the girls (the dancers), but I hate that it took so long. Afterwards, we went to Maria Fernanda's apartment, or what I THOUGHT would be her apartment (really it was the parking lot), and we danced and joked and so on, at least to fight off the cold.
But now Anita's dad is angry because Ana and I came home this morning... And for the first time, he did not greet me when he came home.
I don't really care though, at least because the girls had said that we should celebrate as a going away gift, and I was not going to turn the offer down. Either way, I'm leaving SO SOOOON, and I really do not want to spend these days and my last weekend here in this house.
Blah blah blah, anyways, Last night was fun, as will be these next five days.
I return on the 29th at about 4:30 pm!! Which is awesome, amazing, and I can't wait to return to MY ROOM, MY HOUSE, and MY PRIVACY... YES!

life is good in the neighborhood.

2005-06-23T04:09:25Z

SO here is the good word.
My presentation is tomorrooooooooooooooooow!
The worst part is that I don't know how to describe how I feel... Monday I felt awesome because the dance was seriously coming together and I loved it, but today I'm both happy because it could potentially be amazing and I'm worried because we are risking everything.

And when I say risking everything I mean RISKING EVERYTHING... AHHHHHH!!!
SO today we were going to do a few practice runs at the place where we would present so that we could get a good feel for the space we have, and we could finally use all of our equipment, including lights (which our teacher finally bought the other day for extremely cheap!)... BUT thanks to some amazing Colombian people (note the sarcasm), things did not work out. Our teacher had today well planned and had made sure that the LEAST we could do is practice on the scene for one day... Well we arrive, and the guy in charge tells us that we cannot move a single chair because there is an event right now ("so ya mean we can't actually practice??!!)... And that was the case. Maritza, our teacher, left extremely upset and the three of us girls stayed on our own to practice. Now the nerves have arrived because we are pretty much imagining how everything will work out, we are not even close to being sure.

The worst part about today is that this little event is really just a microcosm of what Colombia is like. The system is created so that the little people will never be ahead, and seemingly there is nothing anyone can do. My teacher left upset, but all she really had to say was "I should have known this would happen, and I can't change anything anyways."

BUT, once again, it could potentially be awesome, so let's all cross our fingers and hope that the hard work will show.

Also, I'm really coming to peace with my family... there were some people who I was intimidated by because of their way of joking and so on (Irene you understand what I mean)... I have found out that although we have entirely different ideals, we are emotionally alike. Needless to say, I have bonded with people that I never expected to get along with.

colcafe @ 2005-06-19T19:51:00

2005-06-20T01:04:52Z

SO, I'm a little antsy because I'm at my other family's house and my using the internet means they don't have telephone AND the internet is very limited.
I kind of didn't want to come because my other family gets very weird (as in, dad's side of the family)... I don't understand, they have me staying with them for five months and can't stand me staying with someone else for a few weekends. This upsets me because I have never understood why someone would not let a loved one do what they want if they will be happy. I am happy if others are happy, which sounds a little wrong, but it just means that I support others' happiness... I'm sort of implying my trip to Colombia because I know people who would have preferred me not to go just because they would miss me, but to me that has always been selfish behavior. SO anyways, this also upsets me because my aunt has said that I can't make plans for the weekend because she's planning to take me somewhere, and hey, guess who ends up spending the day waiting for those plans?? That's quite aggravating because the only reason I don't stay in the same place is because I hope I will do something different and see new things.
Yesterday I was secretly hoping that I would be thrown a surprise going away party... my uncle came to pick me up and everything he and his wife said I would take as a hint. Gosh dang I got a little carried away even though I realize that I'm not so close to this family and they most likely wouldn't throw me a party... I was really looking forward to a party because, well, I love to dance and they throw great parties. Hm, and it doesn't hurt that the boy who comes to DJ is extremely adorable and knows some great Salsa. Damn.
But they took me out anyways and I got to see more of the nature that I forgot existed in Colombia.
I always forget what these little "pueblos" are called, which is really bad for my Colombianness. I need to work more on the memory, which I'm seriously lacking.

Un día de soledad en Bogotá

2005-06-17T23:00:53Z

Today has been extremely calm, but too bad I don't allow my mind to match such a setting...
Hmm.. well things are looking up, the dance is starting to look great, but now that I think about it, not enough if we're going to be presenting this Thursday. My teacher finally calmed down yesterday, but I'm stressing out for her also... us dancers are worried about the performance being a total wreck... Although there is really nothing I can do about it.
I hate that everyone is out on vacation precisely when I'm the busiest, and soon after it all finishes I will be back home.

updates updates

2005-06-16T02:23:11Z

I kind of dislike doing this because it causes me to stay on the computer longer than I wish I would do, but sony emailed me today and told me that she has a livejournal, which has inspired me to update my own.
SO let's see, classes are ending here also, which means that everyone is in the midst of insane exam cramming. The hilarious part is that I didn't imagine this occured at an art school, but it does!! Hilarious, dance class is becoming too intense for me to handle now that we are going to present a semester's worth of work on the 23rd of June and until TODAY (the 15th of June) do we have 2/3 of it done. Our teacher is becoming crazier than I have ever seen a teacher before... honestly, yesterday I just wanted to scream or run out of the class because she was getting on my nerves. I needed to have filmed her... I thought it was just me... I thought that she was only yelling at me, but today everyone was so angry that she told us to get out of class for two minutes and talk, take a drink, do anything that would help us get some focus. Of course when we returned, she was patient, calm, and happy... she can be so creepy like that.
Well the cool thing about exam time is that there is an entirely different atmosphere at the Academy. Every room had a different instrument playing or people quickly trying to finish a painting, and so on. I went with my cousin the other day and she kept chasing every sound down ("WHO'S playing that??")... oh my little anita.
I'm also FINALLY at peace with my return to the states... Everyone I know has now been informed that I will return on the 29th, so if anyone makes plans for the future, I no longer just smile and nod... YAY!
I'm tired though, and seriously running out of money..
I want my mother to call tonight...
OK I'll stop the thoughts because I could go on forever.